Sitting in silence tonight it has come to my attention that perhaps as an artist I am only supposed to focus on that which makes me happy now and to take action so that I am not stuck. This must be so because I will then have a force that moves me in a forward motion rather than sitting still. I know that worrying about the present and re-living the past does nothing for me and is not healthy in mind. If the only thing I focus on in the present is what makes me happy and that I believe the happiness comes from purpose, I must take each day as it comes. With that in mind perhaps when I am old…and I know I WILL be before I pass, it is my past that will be the most beautiful thing I will see before me. As life teaches me to see, to feel and to learn I know that when I am no longer able to move my body, when I am no longer able to do the things that bring me joy, when I no longer have those I loved who lived before me to share my past…it is at that time in my life that all I have done will live in my mind as memories and THAT will bring joy. It is at that time before I go knowing that I did all I could do with no regret and in order to give of myself and to myself, in those last moments before my breath weakens and is no longer a part of me….I truly believe that life will make sense.