Lately I have been wondering if there is truth in honesty, is there a difference between the two even though they appear to be one in the same? It sounds a bit strange but I am starting to wonder is truth is what we make it mean and honesty is….well, being honest. I have to ponder that because of things that happened in my last relationship and most recently in a friendship. I am starting to believe that when someone is telling the truth it may not be completely honest. Maybe you were somewhere and you are honest about that but you omit who you were with. Maybe you tell someone you are interested in you will let them know if there is another interest but you omit that if it is someone they are friends with. Maybe you tell someone how special they are to you but you omit that there is someone else that you feel the same way about. It is truth in reality but is it being honest. I am not sure…I think that we make our choices to say what we feel solely for our own self gain or worth based on the morals that were instilled in us. Sometimes there might be a bit of jealousy, revenge or maybe even protection when being truthful with someone, after all we are only human. An example might be I saw Tom the other day at the game, he looked good, but you omit that he was with someone because of fear of hurting the one you are telling (then you pray they wont ask) In fact you might say it in a way to keep that from being questioned…I caught a glance of Tom at the game he seemed in a hurry but looked good. Just examples but my point is that it is being truthful but is it being honest. The honest response would be I saw Tom with some girl at the game, he looked good.
My last relationship often appeared very truthful but it was not honest. Imagine how much could be omitted and how dysfunctional that could make a relationship, or a friendship. I guess what it boils down to is we are all different and we are human. I think I am often too honest and maybe I should try being more truthful instead, but then I am not sure I would feel comfortable in my skin. Maybe I should just be more quiet…ok those of you who know me got a laugh there but maybe I should try to change in some ways. Perhaps by doing so I wont keep repeating the pattern with the same results. We have all been reminded of these things and it will continue, I know that, I except it and each time I learn…over and over I learn. I guess with each time we get stronger and learn to pay more attention to the details. I am starting to pay attentions to the subtle signs that are always there but I often miss because I am caught up in the emotion of sharing. There are many things I am experiencing now in my life that I could do with out but then I am learning to be happy, make better choices and opening my mind to what is possible. For today my truth will be honest, I wont omit anything but I wont go out of my way to make it known, yes I might just be quiet….but only for a little while!