I am not sure of what to share today but when I got out of bed I thought… its time to blog so here I am.
Hmmm…I will start with health and age because I am feeling a little stiff this morning. This year I turned 42, it is tough to say that number and I believe age for women is so much more difficult because in our minds our appearance is what we are focused on more than anything else. The lines on my face are becoming more prominent and things are changing that no matter what I do I can’t seem to stop. I feel pretty healthy, other than those extra pounds I always want to rid of, overall I feel good about myself for my age. I work out 5 to 6 days a week, I am not a fanatic but I do try to do something active that accounts as exercises each week. Honestly it helps my body to hurt less and keeps my stress level down so I am quite dedicated in that regard. My job requires a lot of strength with all the gear I have to tote around so I have to stay fit.
On Wednesday I went to a new/used bookstore off of Charlotte. This place was packed with books, videos and music. I found myself looking through fitness DVDs. In the 90’s I used to do Billy Blanks Tao Bo video series religiously. Looking through the DVDs I though…I am in good shape lets go with the hardest, longest one for the buck “Billy Blanks Elite Boot Camp”. Last night I skipped the cardio at the gym and went to the basement to try it out. I made the first 30 minutes with no problem but DAMN…that last 30 liked to kill me! My ass was burning so bad I had to stop at intervals during the work out and wait for the burn to stop. Some of the words that came from my mouth were “damn, holy shit, you have to be kidding me and no way”…after the video I wobbled up the stairs drenched in sweat, took a hot shower, ate a salad and followed it with a cup of sherbert. Billy definitely broke me. So far this morning I have doused my neck with liquid heat and tried to pop my back and neck to ease the tension on my right side, my butt is not hurting yet but usually that takes a day or so. I figure if I can do that video once a week I will have an ass of steel and be healthier than I ever imagined a video could make me…or need a chiropractor and a neck brace.
Over all with age I can say I have more confidence and I don’t beat myself up as much as I did when I was younger. It might be that “I just don’t give a damn what you think” factor. In fact a friend gave me a shirt last week that said “my give a damn is busted” because she said she thought it was me. That comes when you have spent most of your life worrying what others think about you and one day you realize what matters is what I think because I have to live with myself!
This summer has been busy with work and I am so thankful for all the good that has come to me over the past year. I have found solace in reading books on topics like “The Law of Attraction”, “The Secret”, “Beyond Positive Thinking” and Wayne Dyer has definitely made a change in me that will stay with me the rest of my life. Every morning before I get up I run through my list of intentions and I am grateful. Each night I am grateful and with that thinking things seem to be more peaceful in my life.
So this blog is not packed with great words of wisdom, maybe the stiffness in my neck is hampering my ability today. If you have made it through my jabber to this point I want to ask those of you who practice this “power of intention” way of thinking….will you share with me? If you have a story or something that will motivate me please tell me. Things are really weird when you start changing the way you have thought all your life, you have to BELIEVE or nothing will happen. The more I BELIEVE the more things seem to change.
A few weeks ago I had a dream about a guy from high school who dated my best friend, I could not remember his name but his face was clear. It was more of a memory than anything, an event that happened, replayed in my mind. I spoke with my Mom earlier this week and she asked if I remembered a guy named Joe ____ from school, it didn’t mean much at first but as she told me of the plane crash I realized it was the same guy I had dreamed about…weird. Since that realization my mind feels a little cloudy, I keep thinking did I somehow make this up. Was the dream after that fact. The past few months have been like that, the more I practice intending what I want, letting go of my control and allowing things to come to me the more things I want seem to happen. It is not easy because I find myself being skeptical and falling back to some of my old ways. Strange things are happening though, people will call that I am thinking of and jobs I am hoping for will come my way with a phone call. Beautiful things are happening with this new mindset I am practicing. Gratitude seems to be the most important thing of all and my heart gets weak when I think of how gifted I have been in my life. Life is so busy and slowing down is important for our well being.
Before I leave I want to include some final thoughts. There is a woman on myspace who emailed me a year or so ago about my blogs and how much they meant to her. I signed up for her blog but never really checked them out because it seems I am always too busy. The other day out of the blue I got a myspace blog update and I went to her space and began reading. Tears fell as I read of her struggles. I have been without words as to how to respond to her but felt compelled each day so today will be the day. I believe we all come from the same place and when we leave we go back to that place. I hate that we try so hard to be above others and that we judge when we are here because I believe it is not what we were put here to do. Give love and you will receive love, that is all we really need to find happiness in this life.
So here I am, my motivation is in overdrive, I feel good and I am going a hundred miles a minute. I may look 42 but I feel like I am still 20 something, ready to conquer the world. Best part is I don’t have the depression or insecurity I had at 20…just a few more aches and pains. So the lesson here, a burning butt and a clear mind makes 42 not look so bad! So there is my 42 and a few other things…