Today is a beautiful day and I have a huge case of spring fever. Last week I had the much hesitated B-day…the one I have not been looking forward to, and did as I said, ran away to hide. Dodged the black ballons…so to speak. Today I am feeling pretty good. I feel like a 20 something trapped in a much older body. I take pretty good care of myself and people say I don’t look my age so that works to my advantage as well. Truth is we all are getting older and there is nothing we can do to change that so I guess I will embrace it with a smile rather than resist with fear. I am grateful that I have lived a full life doing what I want, succeeding comfortably with love and compassion even through all my mistakes. Over the past 6 months I have become more spiritual and have found that much of my confusion is because I have tried to be too much in control, resisted and not allowed myself to really slow down enough to see the real truth. Life is only what we make it to be, we are responsible for most of our mistakes and we have choices and boundaries that we choose which become who we are. I now know at 40, with this new knowledge, I have the capability to live an extraordinary life if I truly want that, not just settle for an average one. I hope that with these blogs I can share a part of me that helps you to think about you. That is the only reason I can share myself…my life with so many strangers in this way. I trust that this is what I am supposed to do because that is a form of love and compassion. Spiritually I believe that is why we are here so if we are searching for a purpose (as I have done for so long) our purpose is to share and love. The gifts we have been given will be the icing on the cake. I am here to share through my words, through my art-my vision and my compassion for others. It is taking me a very long time but I am slowly starting to figure it out. I realize I will never know it all but understanding even the smallest part without fear of failure is what I need to do, that is called living. Trust and love are the key ingredients to that recipe and even though I will always worry about the vulnerability these things bring I know it must be done in order to truly live. Weather I succeed of fail is not really important but the journey and the lesson, that is the key. Happy Birthday to ME!!!