Money, self discovery and just friends…

money [muhn-ee]

any article or substance used as a medium of exchange, measure of wealth

It seems that many men think that money can buy a woman.  In many cases I will agree and I think it is sad. I will admit, for me it is important that a man is financially secure but speaking for myself…I can’t be bought! There are many ladies out there who think that a fat wallet makes for a good man.  Not this one.  I know from experience that money can not and will not buy happiness. Lets face it, it can be fun, it is what we Americans live for, glamorize and often believe will make us happy.  Material things are fun, gifts and trips are great but at the end of the day, if that is all you have it means nothing.  In my opinion love, honesty and friendship is more important than any thing money can buy.  Now I am not saying that as a woman if a man with ALOT of money has an interest I would shoot him down, money is a flattering quality.  For me to keep an interests he would need to also have some down to earth qualities as well as intelligence, kindness and humor among other things. I have found that sometimes money attracts arrogance, infidelity, judgment of others and a list of other qualities that I find uncomfortable and unacceptable. I don’t believe in being attracted to a man for is money but rather being attracted to who he really is and that is what is important to me.

self [self] discovery [di-skuhv-uh-ree]

the act or an instance of discovering a person’s nature, character, etc.

Many of us have discovered that we have wasted a lot of time trying to make others like us and always thinking about others first.  The problem is that by doing so we have neglected ourselves and grown to dislike who we are and how our lives have taken shape. If we are lucky, at some point in life we realize that our happiness should come first, not at the expense of others but with personal time of self discovery. Some don’t seem to understand the concept of “self discovery”, in fact there are those who believe it is a bunch of crap.  I believe that those who DO believe are able to slow down a bit, are patient, pay attention to all that is happening around them and carefully make decisions based on what they are learning about themselves.  After all, being loved by someone will never fulfill us if we don’t love ourselves first. In fact if we live our lives that way there will be an unexplainable emptiness within us and we will continue to search for something we can not find. For the many men and women who think taking time to work on yourself is BS…I wish you luck in life and hope some day you might be able to be a little more open minded to the possibilities.

just  [just] friends

in keeping with truth or fact; true; correct: a just analysis with a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

I was recently talking with a girlfriend about men and we got into a conversation about friendship.  We began by trying to understand why some men will address a woman he is intimate with as a friend and not for what it really is to them. I have many guy friends and when I address these friends to others I always do so by saying they are good friends of mine.  I do NOT sleep with my good friends.  If I were sleeping with a guy who was my friend it would be addressed in a little different way…maybe a friend with benefits. A term often used by other ladies is a special friend, a sleeping buddy or a fuck buddy.  Why is it that there are some guy’s who address a woman friend they are sleeping with as a good friend or in a conversation it might be stated…”we are just friends”.  To me if there is sex involved a little honesty is at hand especially if it is a man I am interested in and what a shitty thing to find out later.  Guys this may be an uncomfortable thing to address when you are courting a new woman but honesty is the first rule in a relationship and if that is broken there will always be doubt.  Of course you may never get caught in that little lie…hmmm even the definition of “just” contains truth or just fact. All that being said I do want the man I am sleeping with to also be my friend but I also want to be able to brag about the sex, not that that happens often!

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