I have been told many times that I am a strong woman. Not just with how I handle life occurrences or because of the success of my business but also because I have packed my things 3 times in my life, relocated to a new city miles away from family and friends, not knowing anyone and started over. Each time was a difficult process and each time I was forced to think for myself, work harder in order to take care of myself and to live with courage. Finding Nashville, settling here and realizing I had found the place I belong has been the most satisfying life experience to date.
I have been told that I trust too easily. In many cases..most cases it has led me into bad relationships because I was too busy believing what I wanted about the other person, only seeing the good things and making the other person feel loved. I did not allow myself to see what was really going on or perhaps it was that I just did not want to admit it. I have experienced things in relationships that have made me stronger as a person and taught me that the most important thing in this life is to love yourself first, to take care yourself first and that in turn makes you a better person for those around you.
On many occasions I have been told that I don’t except compliments well and I have to admit that is true, I am getting better but it is something that is difficult for me because I have never been comfortable with attention being on me. Perhaps it is a bit of my shyness coming out and it is a little humbling at times.
Of all the things I can say about myself the one that I am most proud of is that I truly love others. I always give from my heart and no matter what the outcome might be I know I am compassionate, honest and that all intent toward the other person, weather it was a friend or a lover, has come from love.
I am telling you these things because these wonderful gifts were given to me by the most beautiful person in the world…my Mother. She instilled all of those things within me from the day I took my first breath and I am so grateful that she is my mother. She always encouraged me to dream big, to believe that anything is possible and most importantly to never treat anyone else in a way I would not want to be treated. She showed me strength with her hard work and her ability to bounce back from things that were difficult. Most of all she always….always showed me love and compassion and that I know has carried on to me as it did from her mother to her.
Today I am over 600 miles away from this beautiful woman I love so much. It has brought tears to my eyes many times not being with her to show her how much she truly means to me. A phone call never really feels as good as a hug and a smile. So this is to thank my mother for being such a beautiful person and to thank God for having chosen her for me. Though she will probably never see this post I plan to write a letter to her this week to tell her everything she means to me. It is something I have started every Mothers day but never finished nor sent. I want this year to be different if not for the fact that I am trying to be a better person it is for the fact that we never know what tomorrow will bring. My wish is to have many more Mothers day’s ahead with her but it is also important to me to know that she knows how I feel, that I am proud of her, that she did a great job raising me and that I love her. I think sometimes things are better said on paper because we sometimes tend to hold back when we are face to face. So to my Mother…the most beautiful woman in the world, I love you.
And one more thing I must say, there are 3 another women I must also thank who affected my life from the time I took my first breath. The first is my Grandmother Pearl Sutton, she adopted my father when he lost his mother at birth. She was a vital part of my life and it would take way to long to explain her important role in my life. I wrote a song about her that explains what she was to me (that is on another myspace page for you to find on your own-LOL). She not only showed me love but she introduced me to God and to this day I thank her for giving me that gift. I have to thank my Grandmother Louise Seiler (my mother’s mother) for giving me all the things my mom gave, we lost her last year and today I know my mother is missing here deeply. Lastly someone I consider to be like my second mom and is still a friend to my Mother today. Her name is Christi Comstock…I am forever grateful she was in my life as well. She is the person who set me into an artistic direction if life. She inspired me to be creative, to have an open mind and to be gentle and caring to others. She also showed me how to dream and will forever hold a special place in my heart. She lost her grandson a few months ago (another blog) and I know it is difficult for her with her loss and knowing what her daughter is feeling today.
As I just finished that last line above I realized how truly blessed I am to have had 4 beautiful, strong, loving women be a part of my life. Each has given me something I am proud to now call my own. I may never have children to pass those things on to but I will live my life giving those things from my heart to others knowing that just like those beautiful 4 women it all stems from love….it would be nice to know you might be willing to pass it on!