A genius shuffle that sparked emotional discovery…

Sunday morning I went to the greenway with Big D and took along my new Apple Nano. When I added music from my iTunes library instead of being specific I chose several of the “Genius” mixes that iTunes created for me. As we began our walk I hit play and was completely surprised to hear a familiar yet very old melody. The first song was an oldie by Jim Croce, he was by far one of my favorites as a child. His songs seemed to speak to me even though many of them had lyrics I really didn’t understand because of my age. As I listened I felt a rush of calmness yet sadness run through me. I tried to evaluate my emotions, it was the reflection back to my childhood and that missing part of me, the innocence, the curiosity with everything around me and the lack of knowing what life teaches us as an adult. We don’t have the same worries or desires as a child and it reminded me of the simple times. I grew up in a very remote area on a lake, my best friends were God and nature and I spent much of my time alone entertaining myself with bugs, leaves, water and anything else that was available in the great outdoors. I also wrote my feelings down all of the time, I was a deeply reflective and thoughtful child. We change as we grow older,we become what we surround ourselves around but I also believe that the core of who we are is based on what we experienced from the age of 3-10 years old and how we processed all that happened in that time. As I listened to the song I smiled at how it made me feel inside, pure goodness.

The next song was Pat Benatar, memories of my first car, driving with the music loud and singing at the top of my lungs. Then Maroon 5…I remembered everything I missed and loved about TG. The sadness, his struggle, the way he touched me, his smile and how he died. As the walk went on and the music shuffled through song after song I was introduced to others from my past, some are no longer alive, I was reminded of different things within myself. With every word and melody that trickled through my headset, each song made me feel something deeply embedded inside.

Music has always been an important part of my life, I listen to the lyrics and the ones that become my favorite are usually because I can relate to what is being said…other times it is just a great melody and it makes me feel good. I believe that music is the universal language because even if we don’t understand what is being said we can still connect. Sunday’s walk reminded me that there are memories deeply hidden with in us that reflect our life journey. If you are like me and choose to find goodness in even the bad times then when sadness hits you, your choose to feel, accept and smile knowing that those experiences made you who you are today. If you love yourself that will bring a smile to your face. Memories are a true gift from God in my opinion and I am still amazed at how many are tucked away just waiting to come out. There is something so beautiful in knowing that out of nowhere you can be reminded of something from your past.

When I got home I had a knock on my door. It seems that music inspired a friend to stop by my house because the song she heard on the radio on the way home from church reminded her of me…even though the first time we heard the song at the same time was when she played it for me, it enticed me to create a ringtone from it. Since that ringtone was created that song reminds several others of me now, interesting how we relate odd things to events or people in our lives!

As I leave you let me offer you a chance to stir up your emotions and actually feel something deep inside. Pull out that old photo album, or box of old pictures and take a look. Set your iPod or iTunes library to shuffle and feel what each song has the ability to create for you. The opportunity to allow an old memory to resurface will stir your soul and remind you that you are still alive. That ability to feel something that deep might upset you, make you laugh or make you mad but it is the emotion of those FEELINGS that often break the monotony and numbness of living our lives on autopilot. Those emotions that old memories stir up might actually teach you something about yourself! Sending love out to all of you…pass it on!

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